Sandra is a retired nurse, mother, grandmother and friend. She is that neighbor that radiates kindness, and wisdom. She has many stories to tell, and only a few are reflected here. So if you get a chance to meet her in person, ask her about that time she introduced herself to Sydney Poitier.
Tell us how you found yourself in Colorado?
I was a New Englander for the first 18 years of my life, slowly making my way to Spokane, WA. where we raised our 5 children for 32 years. Two of our children went to college here, DU and Regis. They kept sending us photos and texts of themselves in shorts in December. What got me was the 300 sunny days a year and an international airport. If you flew anywhere in Spokane, it was a two stopper. Our eldest son and family lives in Vermont and our second son lives…well he lives in the world as a diplomat, and we needed to see them both and their families. Our youngest daughter chose to move to Denver. Three out of five is pretty good I thought. I’ve always said that the first part of my life was restless and I would’ve surely been on one of those wagon trains heading West.
Before retiring, what did you do?
At 18 I went to NYC for my Nursing degree. Coming from a small New England town, I thought I was in the world. After school, I worked at hospitals in NY and Boston for two years before I went to work at Tuba City Hospital, a Native American hospital in Northern AZ. My first week there was quite amazing. I worked nights in charge with wonderful nursing assistants. The first night near the end of the shift (5 am), I was at the desk preparing drugs to administer when out of the corner of my eyes I saw patients walking past the nurses’ desks toward the back door. It was a one level hospital with entrances at both ends. Anyone who could walk that night in the hospital was moving toward to the exit. I kind of panicked, thinking they were leaving the hospital AWOL. I grabbed one of the nursing assistants in a frenzy as to what was happening. “Oh, no worries, they’re all going to greet the sun.” I put down my drugs and joined the march and was forever changed by their blessing and devotion. It felt like a religion I wanted to belong to and honor.
After marriage and kids, we lived in the Midwest and eventually Spokane. I started working in the hospital in labor and delivery and eventually as an educator for childbirth and parenting. This led me to Catholic Charities in Spokane to offer classes to women who were experiencing pregnancy and parenting alone. Catholic Charities Spokane had literally thousands of files dating back to the 1920s of women who placed an infant for adoption. In the 80s, when women chose to parent their infant, and not place them for adoption, Catholic Charities and a team of Social workers, myself and volunteers developed a program offering classes, counseling, clothes, legal assistance and community.
Meanwhile, women, who placed children for adoption, and adoptees coming of age, began searching for each other. I was asked to develop my last professional job as a Court-appointed Confidential Intermediary in search and reunion for thousands of women and children. No question that was the most profound work of my life. My successor continues to consult me here in Denver on difficult cases. Their stories of pain and joy never cease to humble me.
How is life different for you now that you’re retired? How do you spend your time?
Life here in Denver is more serene than it has ever been. We’ve been here for 9 1/2 years. The first 3 years I was a full-time nanny granny for our two lovely granddaughters. It has been a joy following their lives and seeing the world through their eyes. I’ve met my community through these girls. It’s hard to come into a new place where people are established with their friends and communities. Denver has been good to us. You have so many friends and communities as you are raising your children and we left all those dear ones behind at an elderly age. But, a group at Starbucks beckoned me over early on and the age range was varied. That’s what is different from hanging with the parents of your kids’ friends. There is more diversity in my life than ever before. I walk the park 2x every day and love the people I meet…like Dave who plays the fiddle at WF on Wednesday nights and was once a director of the primates at the Denver Zoo. We meet and greet and catch up on health and life in the Park. We’re members of all the museums and subscribe to the symphony. There is nothing like letting live music wash over you!
As a woman and a mother, what are you most afraid of right now?
I am not a fearful person in general. I always say I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to know I’m being consumed! But, as a mother, it is built into the job. As a grandmother of 6 it is double the concern. I believe with all our hearts and efforts, we have to keep on loving and bring love to this world amidst all the tension and strife, which may at any moment become for us all a time of terror. In this world we all want to love and be loved. Our differences, right from the start in our own families, makes us realize that we don’t all arrive at the same understanding at the same moment. I cringe at some of my beliefs of former years and along the way I saw things differently. I may be naive considering our weary world, but there is a reservoir of love within us and I can wait for someone to have a change of heart.
Who is/was the most influential person in your life?
Paul Farmer was my greatest influential person in the world. Tracy Kidder told his story in “Mountains beyond Mountains.” As a health professional I soon realized that health is everything in anyone’s life. The humbleness of his life while curing the world inspired me on so many levels; in working with young mothers at Catholic Charities, in donating to save lives around the world, in taking our eldest granddaughters to St. Lucia via Global Volunteers to work in a preschool with young children in an impoverished area on the island with no electricity and plumbing. Then the following year, we went to Guatemala to work in an orphanage. Paul Farmer makes me want to be a better person even in death.
What is the happiest moment of your life?
This is my favorite question. Life is made up of those special moments that can change your life in an instant and forever. I am so aware of many of those moments:
The first time my Ukrainian grandmother in Connecticut let me sell flowers from her garden at the end of her driveway at age 5, I felt so empowered as a child. The 3 births of our sons and the first embrace and welcome of our Korean born daughters in Seattle. Welcoming all six of our grands and helping to deliver one. Deep eye contact with our young grands while sitting in a sandbox or discovering something of nature. When I bless our grands goodnight and they close their eyes and then hug me tight. When my spouse tears up with me at all of the births and arrivals. Full moons and gorgeous vistas of Colorado. Deep eye contact always with Rhonda, who sleeps at my feet. Deep eye contact of understanding always promotes joy and recognition. To be seen and acknowledged is happiness.
Sandra, it has been an absolute joy getting to know you in this process. Denver is lucky to have you.