Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws. — Barbara Kingsolver
I knew I wanted to be a mom when I was three and my sister was brought home from the hospital. I felt zero jealousy and instead, just this strong maternal instinct to push her around in a toy shopping cart and claim her as my own. (Mom, I can’t believe you let me push our newborn around in a toy!) Just kidding, you always kept us very safe. So safe in fact that we were not allowed to wear jellies because they had absolutely no arch support. Love you!
I felt this longing to be a mom with such strong certainty that it was never something I questioned. It was probably the only thing that I was absolutely sure about. I may have changed my major a couple of times, didn’t know who I would marry or if I would. But I did know with my whole heart that one day I would have a child. It didn’t hurt that I was raised by a strong woman who was also raised by a strong woman. My grandma Ernie is pictured above. They made this whole motherhood thing look easy. Seriously how did they do that? Motherhood is not easy. They lied to me. Not just because through exhaustion you have to keep these tiny humans alive, happy and thriving. But for me specifically, I worry about them every second of
the day. This won’t go away when they turn to leave me for bigger and better things. Ironically, this is exactly what I want for them, but I know it will kill me at the same time.
I’ve read all the quotes. Some day you will miss them climbing all over you. You will miss them asking for snacks 500 times a day. You will miss them handing you their sticky trash because they can’t get it into the bin themselves. You will miss the small amount of real estate you own in your own king size bed. This is all true. One day I will miss these moments, but that is not to say that some days these things are enough to push you over the edge.
At the end of the day, I look around at all of the mothers in my life and I am in awe of them. They are the strongest women I’ve ever met. They all look different, some of them have already raised their kids but have chosen to do it all over again. Some of them are going at it alone. Regardless of their story, they are all a force to be reckoned with. They could be finishing out the hardest week of all time and have absolutely nothing left inside of them to give, but they do. So to all of you mama bears out there, I see you. I know you. I am you. You got this and you are doing a brilliant job.
Your neighbor – Shaleen DeStefano